Nathan Andrew Kroeker - the real story:)

I meant to post this yesterday, but Brian and I were having some trouble agreeing on a name (there was a miscommunication - I thought we had picked something, but apparently Brian wasn't as sure as I was so it required a second look). So everything is written as though it was yesterday and I don't feel like changing it! Some details may be a bit too much information for some people, but feel free to skip over those parts:).

Well, the day finally arrived - Baby Kroeker decided that he had toyed with me enough, that it was time to actually show up today! After my last post, I was so discouraged that I was starting to think I was going to go a week overdue and have to be induced or something. Maybe I was being a bit dramatic, but what a roller coaster! The contractions stopped in the morning and that was it. Baby wasn't coming after all.

That was yesterday. I went to bed just hoping that I wouldn't have another repeat of the night before and that I would finally get a good night's sleep. And I did get a good sleep - for a few hours anyway! I started feeling some contractions around 2:30am, and after a few of them that were 10-15 minutes apart, I started thinking that this time, I was going to be right - the baby was coming. They were pretty far apart until about 4am when they tightened up to about 7-8 minutes apart. I paged the midwives, who were at another birth, so Miriam said she would get there as soon as she could, but it wouldn't be right away, I should page if things suddenly sped up.

So, I put on my head phones and turned on my labour playlist of upbeat worship music and went downstairs. I was feeling pretty good at this point, dancing to the music, breathing rather easily through each contraction. They tightened up to 5 minutes apart almost right away. I was getting a bit nervous that the midwives weren't here yet, so I paged again - surely I was getting close to birth by now! Miriam came at 5am, and a midwife from a different team came as well to help with the actual birth part (Miriam's teammate Savannah was still at the other birth). She checked me, and I thought, here were go, I'm having a baby right away.

3-4 cm. Really? Great - long ways to go.

She had me do lunges up and down the stairs to get things moving. And get moving they did - I wish I had thought of these lunges when I was trying to induce labour! I was constantly contracting, and by 6am they were getting fairly intense. Brian and I started talking about what to do with the kids, and we called his mom to see if she could come. She made arrangements at work, but she wouldn't be here until about 10am. Luckily, I have an awesome friend named Katie that lives just down the street from us, and at about 6:50am I called her to see if she could take the kids for the morning. She came and picked them up around 7:15 and I was free to have a baby!

At this point, I was no longer dancing to any music - things were getting pretty intense and pretty close together. Again, Miriam checked me and I was thinking that I must be fully dilated and ready to push - I have such fast labours, how could it be anything else?

5cm. I cried.

She assured me that my cervix was very thin and she stretched me to 6cm, offering to break my water, just as they had done at the same point in my labour with Adam. this was at about 7:45am. I remembered the horror that followed the water-breaking back then, but also remembered how quickly Adam arrived after this was done (about 20 minutes). I said to go ahead and do it, but with such a sense of impending dread. Could I really do it again? I was so scared . . . but I knew I needed this to end. The contractions intensified in a hurry, but it was a bit different than my experience with Adam - there were breaks in the contractions! I thought this was great, as I was actually able to experience some relief. I did not, however, think about the fact that it was not going to be as fast this way . . . I kept thinking with every contraction that it must be time to push, but it never was . . . they kept telling me to keep breathing through them. People have often said to me how lucky I was that I have quick labours, and I'm sure that's true to a certain degree, but you could not have told me that in that moment - it was feeling like an absolute ETERNITY to get to the pushing stage! I kept trying to push too early, and asking, "Is the baby coming yet?". Miriam tried to be as gentle as possible (bless her heart!) as she just kind of avoided the question and told me to keep breathing as much as I could, until I just couldn't stop myself from pushing.

I was exclaiming at this point that I was just going to die and that I couldn't do it etc. - I really was starting to imagine how I would get out of finishing what I started. I was so tired and I quite seriously wasn't sure if I could do this anymore. Again, I emphasize that this entire process was feeling like it was taking an absolute eternity. They brought me back to the bed in my dire state (I had been trying different positions to get things moving) and it was on the bed that I FINALLY started pushing for real.

7 minutes later, at 8:21am, Nathan was born. I can't even describe the intense relief that I felt to see that baby out in his entirety. My little boy - thought he was going to be a girl, but I couldn't have been happier that he was here and healthy and perfect.

I need to take a few minutes to talk about the home birth experience. I know there are a lot of people out there very skeptical of home births, and some would even say that you are endangering yourself and your child if you do this. I used to think the same way - until I actually did some research on it. I felt completely confident choosing a home birth this time around, and I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am with my decision. I would do it again in a heartbeat if we were to have more kids (which I don't think we will so it's kind of irrelevant!). The mess was nothing, the midwives were constantly checking on me and the baby to make sure everything was going smoothly - such a great way to do something that us women were made to do:). And I didn't have the option of drugs, so I couldn't wimp out at the last minute (which I may well have done this time because I really honestly wanted to give up).

So here we are - a family of 5! I unfortunately wasn't able to sleep today (too much adrenaline, and Nathan was dealing with a lot of mucus coming up, making him pretty unsettled most of the day), but I am hopeful that our first night will be okay (fingers crossed!). Physically I am doing very well, and was able to rest the day away which was great. I had no tearing so as long as I follow midwives' orders, I should recover just fine! Afterpains are no fun, but I'm hoping to get these over with as quickly as possible - how unfair is it that we have to go through labour, and THEN afterwards have to deal with these awful afterpains as well?? Why can't the men experience even just ONE painful symptom?? Anyway, enough whining:). I'm all done and pretty proud of myself that I made it through yet another drug-free labour.

Blogging about being in labour - the final chapter

Well, it would seem the time has finally come for this third baby to grace us with his/her presence. I'm still in the early stages, but I can't sleep so I decided to get up and do what will probably be my last ever blog post about being in labour (never say never, but we're pretty sure this will be the last baby:)).

I'll start by saying that waiting for a baby to arrive is very hard, and I admire people that have the mental strength to go overdue. I thought Lynsey would be late (first baby and all, high probability) so when she showed up three days early, it was a pleasant surprise and I never really had that agonizing wait. Adam was even earlier at 8 days, so when 8 days came and went with this one, I didn't know what to do with myself. How could this be? Each baby is supposed to come earlier than the last, right? To top it all off, I started having a ton of false labour on Family Day weekend (which was the weekend that I had set up in the mind as an ideal time for delivery, so the false labour just kind of rubbed it in my face that nothing was actually happening. Last week was actually not so bad, as once I accepted that it wasn't going to happen Family Day weekend, I actually got a little less antsy and thought, okay, the next weekend is okay - we needed to prime the basement walls anyway:). This weekend produced nothing but more false labour . . . until last night.

So there Brian and I were, watching some TV, winding down from another day, when the baby starts moving like crazy, crashing into my cervix constantly and causing me a ton of sharp pain. I knew this pain wasn't contractions, but it was very uncomfortable nonetheless and I couldn't help but wonder if something was going to happen sometime soon. We here our poor boy get out of his bed (not that long after he'd fallen asleep I might add) and start coughing and crying. Yep, he was sick - all over his bed, floor, teddy bears, books, etc. So Brian and I team up and get our poor, confused boy (who's never had a stomach bug before) all cleaned up and take him downstairs with us (in our experience, kids rarely only throw up once). As I'm sitting with Adam, I started feeling some more sharp pain, but it was a bit different than before - I was suspicious that it could have been a contraction. Well, Adam did throw up a few more times while we were downstairs, and I had a few more real contractions. I was pretty sure this was going to be the real thing this time. It's now almost 5 and Adam has tried to throw up a few times since we've gone to bed, but he doesn't really have anything left, the poor thing. I am sort of scratching my head at the timing - really? Labour now, finally, on the first day that Adam's ever been sick like this? I guess this is what I get for praying so hard yesterday morning that I would go into labour that day!

Oddly the contractions have slowed down since I got up. All my false labour was always during the day and stopped at night, and this labour (which I'm calling my real labour) has been going at night, really picking up at 3:30. I really thought once I was sitting up it would intensify, but what if I'm wrong? What if this is ALSO false labour, but just a different kind?? Wouldn't that be great - maybe I'll have another week of false labour stage 2 - the more intense kind, and the kind that keeps me up at NIGHT. That would be amazing.

Baby, stop messing with me and just come out already. This has dragged on long enough. Oh, there's another contraction - he/she must be "listening" to me. I sincerely hope that tomorrow (sorry - later today!) I will be writing all about meeting my precious baby and how that all went down, instead of a retraction on this story - "sorry, this was not actually the final chapter, as I will write again when I'm ACTUALLY in labour". Ugh - I'm starting to think anything is possible! Wish me luck all!

And . . . I'm still pregnant

I am going to take some time tonight to feel a bit sorry for myself. At this exact stage in my pregnancy with Adam (7pm, 8 days before due date) I was in the tub at Foothills hospital, a mere hour and 25 minutes from giving birth to my 8 and a half pound baby boy. Where am I now? At home, on my computer, not in labour. Have I been having contractions? Oh yes - a whole bunch of false labour for the past THREE days! I know I had braxton hicks with the other two (well, more so with Adam), but it was not like this. I can feel pressure, like the baby is super low in my pelvis, and I've been having cramping for the last couple of weeks, but for some reason this baby is toying with me! I'll have a few contractions, and then they'll just stop for a few hours. Nothing too painful, so I know it's not real labour yet, but so frustrating! I fully expected that this baby would come at LEAST as early as Adam - isn't that how it's supposed to be? Each subsequent pregnancy, the baby comes a bit earlier than the last? Apparently not in the cards for me this time. I know what my advice is to other people that are waiting to go into labour - relax, enjoy your freedom, sleep through the night, etc. etc. - so much easier to say when it's not you waiting! I am so anxious to meet this little munchkin, and while I'm nervous to have to go through labour again, I am as ready as I'll ever be for it. So come on out Baby! Your Momma is waiting rather impatiently!

Adam continues to have anger issues, but it hasn't been quite as bad the last week or so (as I'm typing this, he's having a tantrum in the tub! Nice!). I think it hasn't helped that I haven't gotten out as much over the last month or so - he seems to thrive on getting out of the house, being outside, etc. We did go to the zoo on Thursday to go see the penguins (so cute!) and that was a really good day - he was happy as can be. I am definitely looking forward to summer and not being pregnant anymore, and hoping for a great baby that will let me get out lots:). One neat thing is that he is learning his colours, and getting much better with recognizing shapes - he may not be miles ahead of the game in some of these areas, but he is learning which is always exciting!

I have been so terrible with taking pictures lately, but I did take a few. The ones of the kids in the playroom I took while they were dancing away - it was super cute:). I haven't seen Adam do much dancing, but on this day, he was all over the place with his own little style of dance:).

The not-so-terrific twos are upon us

Well, it's been two weeks since we put Adam in his bed and it has been an adventure! Some late nights, some better nights - all in all, I think he is getting slowly better but it's a slow process. He does not feel inclined to stay in his bed if we're not in the room - as soon as we open the door, he runs back to his bed, telling himself to "get back in bed" but without accountability he does not stay in there very long! I have taken to laying beside him most nights, which is getting harder and harder the more pregnant I get. It seems to be the only way to ensure that he stays in his bed, though, so I'm sucking it up. Brian has been working in the basement most evenings, so I've been putting the kids to bed alone for the most part which has been hard as well. Luckily, Brian's portion of work in the basement is done (for now anyway!) as the drywallers started today. What a relief to be onto this stage of the development! I'm happy to have my husband back, although it's still stressful and probably will be until the basement is completely done. Such is life! It will be nice to have the finished product, but getting there is not fun!

Besides our bedtime issues, we have been experiencing a lot more of our boy's temper lately. He seems to be a textbook case of "Terrible Twos" with his throw-himself-down temper tantrums. He is so sensitive to certain sounds - vacuum cleaners especially - and it's gotten to the point where I literally cannot vacuum unless I can listen to him screaming his head off the entire time, and then have at least a half hour afterwards to hold him and calm him down. He throws things when he gets angry, and has even started throwing things down the stairs sometimes (luckily, nothing that has done any damage so far). Brian has found that talking to him about how he's feeling helps him calm down, although I don't always have the same success. It just depends on how mad he is and what's making him mad. He has started voicing displeasure with Lynsey when she's bugging him - I've heard him say "Widsey stop it!" and "Widsey don't do dat!". I think this is a good step for him, because in the past he would just whine and scream when she bugged him. Unfortunately, she doesn't always listen, but we're working on that. He's just going through a bit of a phase right now, and I'm hoping it doesn't last too long! Just in time for the baby, I guess!

We got to watch Lynsey's dance class last Monday! It was a lot of fun to see her in this circle of little girls, showing us what she's been learning:). She continues to surprise me with how much she understands about the world around her, making me so aware of what a little sponge she is. The other day, I was trying to get into a tight parking spot, and she was in the backseat telling me things like, "I think this is too tight, Mom", "I think that other guy is too close to the line" and other very pessimistic comments! It was actually really funny, because she was right, it was too tight but I didn't give up nonetheless:). She is a special girl alright!

37 weeks now - very much hoping to be giving birth some time next week. My body has been very crampy lately with lots of braxton hicks contractions, so we'll see how much longer I have to go. Ready to be rid of this belly! It's a bit sad to think of this as likely my last pregnancy, but kind of exciting as well. I am so ready to throw all my maternity clothes into the bin!