"Why did God make this? Why does God do that? Why? Why?"

Can you tell I have an inquisitive 4 year old?? Lynsey started this line of questioning a few months back, and continues to question everything with, "Why did God make it so we have to go to bed?" and "Why did God make this pencil so it can break?" and endless other variations of this same question. I don't even remember answering that many of her questions with, "Because God made it that way", and certainly now I try to explain things a bit more thoroughly than that:). It really is remarkable how much she sees and how much responsibility she feels for her family. I had a bit of an incident the other day where I lost track of Adam (just pin me with Mother of the Year over here!). I thought he was in the backyard, but when I went to look for him, he was not. The gate was closed so he couldn't have gotten out that way. I checked the basement with no results, and ran upstairs to check that floor, still no Adam. Anyone that has ever lost track of a child for even a minute can imagine the panic I was feeling at this moment. Logically, I was sure he was in the house somewhere, but I couldn't find him . . . terrifying. While I was frantically checking upstairs, I suddenly remembered how much he likes to go into the garage, and at the same time, remembered that I had left the garage door to the outside open earlier for one reason or another. I flew downstairs to find him standing in the garage, the gaping door providing a perfect outlet to the unsupervised outside world. Needless to say, we have now taken some more precautions to make sure this doesn't happen again. Anyway, throughout this ordeal, Lynsey was worried right along with me, saying, "It's all my fault!" (she was with him in the backyard originally). I assured her several times that Adam was not her responsibility and that it wasn't her fault at all, but it opened my eyes to the burden that she feels. It makes me want to be so careful about how much she hears us talking about, and definitely be careful about what we say to her. She's such a sensitive spirit and I don't want her to feel unnecessary stress!

Yesterday, I was watching a friend's kids for her for a few hours in the afternoon (2 year old and almost 5 year old). Adam did his typical screaming when she brought them in, but recovered fairly quickly. The two year old was playing at the train table when Adam appeared, playing there as well. He was so happy, it looked like he was actually glad the other little boy was there! The little boy went to play with the car ramp, and lo and behold, Adam followed him there, playing not with him, but beside him. It may have been my imagination, but it definitely looked like he was happy the boy was there and was making an effort to be where this little boy was. This may not sound like much of a milestone, but it's one of the only times I've seen him really pay much attention at all to another kid, so it was exciting to see!

Nathan just gets easier all the time:). I love that I'm enjoying him so much more now! He has been sleeping really well at night - more often than not, he only wakes up once to eat now, and he goes to bed between 8 and 9pm and sleeps until around 7am give or take. He had a few 12.5 hour nights last week, once where he woke up twice to eat and one night it was only once! He usually has at least one super long nap during the day, often two. I hope this never changes, but I do realize that it easily could. He hardly ever cries now, and when he does it is usually because he's tired. He's had a few gassy days here and there, but nothing compared to how it used to be. He's such a little smiley-pants - love him!

A lucky Mom on Mother's Day:)

And once again, I've waited a full two weeks between posts - I really am trying to balance everything! Some days are harder than others, but I do feel like I'm getting a grip on this madness that is three kids. Nathan is sooo much easier these days! He sleeps better, plays more, just generally cries less. He was taking really long naps during the day, although yesterday this wasn't the case so I'm not sure if he's changing again or if it was a one off. He did great last night, though - slept from 9:45pm until 3:15am, ate, went back to sleep until 8:20am! Best night he's had yet! He is very alert and just wants to make sure he's not missing anything, which is I'm sure the reason for not napping as well the last day or two:). He hasn't giggled yet, but I can hear that he's getting close. He's a sweetie! He had his first shots last Thursday (the 10th) and did fabulously - hardly cried. He is 12lb 13oz and just over 24 inches long. A thriving boy!

Adam has good and bad days, but I do feel like there is some hope that the tantrums won't be around forever. He had a monster tantrum last week at the zoo - it was UGLY! I stayed calm and tried my best to distract him, but he discovered pushing the stroller and did not want to do anything else - nor did he want the stroller to ever stop moving. This just didn't work, and he lost it completely. It was a very discouraging trip:(. He did calm down once we made it to the playground and was fine the rest of the trip, but it was very hard on me. I can only hope that as his communication continues to improves and as he builds his "disappointment muscles" that the tantrums will become fewer and further between. He discovered opening the fridge the other day, and stopping him caused enormous tantrums the first day. The next day the tantrums were a bit less, and now he just walks away from it when we tell him it's not a toy to play with. So there is some hope!

Lynsey told me she would ride her bike to the park this morning, but when the time came to leave, she had changed her mind and didn't want to anymore. I have been struggling with how to encourage her in this area without pushing her too hard, so I told her she didn't need to ride it, but if we were going to go, she would have to at least walk her bike. So she walked her bike the whole way there (1 km). It was a bit of a pain, but I thought maybe she would try riding it when she realized how hard it was to walk it the whole way. When it was time to go home, she was riding around the paths at the park and said she would only ride it up to the sidewalk, where she would then get off and walk it the whole way home. I told her that was fine. She rode beside me and when we got the sidewalk, she stayed on her bike and kept riding! She got off to walk her bike every time we crossed a road, but then got back on again. She rode almost the whole way home (there was one downhill that was just too steep for her to try) and was so proud of herself! She told me after that she didn't realize how easy it was to ride her bike on the sidewalk:). I was so happy that I didn't push her too far and let her decide for herself when it was time to try - I am learning more and more every day the best way to deal with our independent little girl! If only I could figure out how to deal with her not wanting me near her hair or wanting my input on how she dresses . . . hmmm we still have a way to go with her:).

I ran my race in Canmore on Sunday! 38:28 was my time, and my watch registered 5.9km. Man it was hard! It must have been harder than last year - it was just one hill after another! You finally got up one hill and were on your way down, when lo and behold, another one loomed ahead, even steeper and longer than the last one. Mentally it was a very difficult race for me, but I pushed myself as hard as I possibly could! I was happy with the result, but the next race I join will be a FLAT one!:)