May and June have been busy months! Brian's parents were here over Victoria Day weekend and we had a great time. We went down to Seattle waterfront one afternoon and saw Wings Over Washington, which was a cool virtual reality "ride", and then had a meal at the Crab Pot. We spent a lot of time lounging on our deck because the weather was so nice while they were here! A lot of the kids' stuff has been wrapping up, with Lynsey's Girl Scouts having their year end ceremony and the year end gymnastics recital. Nathan had his last day of preschool last week as well. This time of year is really kicking my butt! Gotta make it through a few more weeks of lunches and year end parties and we will be done! And then what, Adam will be home for 2 straight months with no school for the first time in his life since he was 3.
Speaking of Adam, I hate to say this about our precious boy, but he has been nearly unbearable lately. His stress level is off the charts, his requests for us to repeat phrases is at an all time high. He never used to ask us to repeat things the kids were saying, but now anything they say (or really anyone within earshot of him) is stressing him out. We can't say much of anything around him at all anymore. In fact, often even when we are quiet and not saying anything, he will remember something that someone said earlier and ask us to reassure that "we are not going to (insert word here)". He has had his high maintenance times in the past, and I do have to remember that "this too shall pass", but I need it to pass soon before I lose it! He has shown some other signs in the midst of this that are more positive, like he wants to do more things himself like getting dressed or putting on his shoes. He actually does a decent job of brushing his own teeth! I do believe he is making progress in his own way, but we are going to see a specialist at the Autism Center in a few weeks to talk about what kind of medications might be available for him to manage his anxiety. In the past, we've been told that the things he does are typical of all kids with Autism, and were discouraged from seeking medication, but we believe now that there might be some merit to at least investigating if there is something out there that can help him. I get that all kids with Autism have anxiety and difficulty with transitions, but I can't help but think that he takes some things to a whole new level. He can't live his life like this! Today at the park, he was running from one place to the next, coming back to me to affirm that whatever this kid had said was not somewhere we were going, and I just thought to myself, "he is at the park, his favorite place, and all he can focus on is what other people are saying and having to find me to tell him we aren't going to whatever random word of phrase he hears". He was in a constant state of high alert, his guard was not down for one second. How completely exhausting! How long can he possibly keep this up!
We transitioned him to the new Sunday School room on Sunday as well (we thought he's at high stress anyway, we might as well do this now since it can't get much worse!) He actually didn't do as badly as I thought he would, we did have to stay with him and he was very distressed, but he sort of kept it together so there is hope that he will adjust with time. His ABA home program manager will observe next Sunday to give the volunteers some tips on how to deal with him. If there is one question that gets asked of us a lot - and understandably so - it's, "What do you do to calm him down?" or "What is an item you can bring that can help him calm down?". I understand that people really want us to be able to answer this question - what I wouldn't give to be able to answer this question! But do people really think that if we knew what it took to calm him down in a given situation that we wouldn't do it immediately every time? Or if there was a toy or comfort item that we wouldn't have that thing with us every time we stepped foot outside of our house? I know this question is not at all meant to make us feel bad or like we aren't doing enough, but every time I hear it I just want to go and scream into a paper bag for a few minutes. What calms him down? We talk to him until he decides that he is ready to calm down. What do we say? Whatever comes to mind, it's not the same thing every time. That isn't what people want to hear but it's the truth. You have to get to know him and then you might have a slightly better chance at success, but you still might not be able to do anything to help him. I offered him a sucker on Sunday, after he was starting to calm down but not completely there yet, thinking I had timed this treat offering just right to push him over the edge into complete calm. He didn't take it, wasn't quite ready, and his stress continued. Next time, that might work, but this time it didn't. I hope that one day we have something that just works every time, but for now, we are just winging it every day.
Sorry for that little rant, it's been a really tough last few weeks in particular. We are doing okay considering, thanks to the grace of God. There have been a lot of good things the last few weeks, Brian and I booked a vacation for just the TWO OF US for the end of November to Costa Rica!! Can't wait! Brian's parents will come watch the kids for us:-). We got Central A/C put in, we had a mini heat wave over Memorial Day and we caved - we have apparently decided that it is our duty to populate this world with A/C units (3rd house and hopefully NOT counting lol!). I can't believe summer is here and we are not moving OR going to Alberta! We are in the travel restriction portion of the Green Card process, so we can't leave the country until we get something called "Advanced Parole". We are HOPING to have it by the end of August since my good friend Henry is getting married in Vancouver and so many of my La Crete friends will be there - praying that it comes through! It will be tight timing, the wedding will be about 3.5 months from the time of application and the typical wait time is 3-4 months. Fingers crossed!!
