Progress everywhere!:)

I feel like there's a lot to report so I want to make sure I post before I forget it all!

First of all, Adam seems to be making more progress every day. Our first few months here, we did not see any big improvements. And then we ran into all his sleep issues (which he hasn't ironed out completely, but we've seen HUGE improvements the last few weeks, thank goodness!) and now we are starting to see some real progress in some areas. Proper requesting, actually saying "no" instead of just screaming in protest, his eye contact, and there are a few very specific things he did this week that he hasn't done before. For his birthday last year, our friends Bobbi and Jer bought him a microphone on a stand. He has never done more than just take the mike off and shake the cord, we have never heard him talk into the mike. Yesterday, he picked the mike off the stand and said "Helloooo Adam". We told him to say hello to Mom, Dad, etc. and so he started saying hello to all of us in the mike! And he gave all of us turns talking into the mike, even Nathan, who has been sort of his nemesis as of late. It was very interesting to see him try something new, and then include us in his game! Another thing that stood out to me that he hasn't done before (at least not this clearly or without prompting) was when I asked him if he wanted to wear his coat, he said pretty calmly, "No coat". Normally his response would have been a scream or a growl to let us know that he didn't want to wear his coat, but he caught himself before any of those reactions and calmly told me "no"! I know they are working hard on some of these things at school, and it's fantastic to see some fruits of their labor! I continue to feel like he is in just the right place for him:).

Nathan has, just over the last few days, started talking like crazy! We always knew his word explosion was coming, and I think it started this weekend! He started putting a few words together this last week like, "Der it is" when I asked him where the police car was on the picture (his latest obsession by the way is police cars!) or "Der poe-ca (his words for police car). And yesterday, Brian thought he smelled something suspicious from him, so he asked him if he could see his bum. Nathan runs off saying, "No see bum". He brought me Adam's bus today and pointed at the driver and said, "Stuck", so I pulled it out for him. This kind of verbalizing is VERY recent and very exciting! We love to hear him be able to express himself more and more, and hope that it will result in less tantrums and frustration for him. Such a cute little guy!

Lynsey's reading has been coming along, albeit a bit slower than I would like (how can I be SOO impatient when she is reading to me! I turn into this Nazi, I hate it! Really need to breathe and figure out what issue is coming to the surface there, good grief!). Anyway, she really struggles with staying focused and is very easily distracted (I may have mentioned this before, it is a bit of a problem for her at school as well). Well, tonight, I asked her if she wanted to read me a book before bedtime and she picked a book she'd read many times before. She breezed through it, no pauses, she just kept reading. I was so impressed! But I thought, well, she has maybe almost memorized it so that could be why, so I didn't think too much of it. She then picked a book for me to read to her, a fairly simple book but not one of her reading books that she has practiced with us. She said she wanted to read it and inwardly I'm thinking, "nooo it's bedtime and this will take a half hour!" but she was on a roll so I let her give it a try. She read each page easily and with confidence, getting stuck only on a few tough words. I couldn't believe it! This girl has been holding out on us! I asked her what we could do to make her home reading during the week go this smoothly and she just said she didn't know, she was usually tired, so who knows how it will go this week. Now that I know how well she can do, it might make me even more impatient when she struggles through it (will have to be very conscious of that this week!). In any case, I am so proud of how much she has improved!

Another thing I wanted to mention about Lynsey is that I often ask before bed if she wants to say prayers and she always says no. I haven't read too much into that, I don't want to overreact to it, but just keep giving her opportunities to pray if she wants to. Well, today she said yes, and her first prayer was all about praying that she would have fun, and that her friends would play with her, etc - the kind of prayer you would expect from a 6 year old. But then when she was done and I was about to start, she said she wanted to pray again. This time, her prayer was all about giving thanks to God for numerous things! It sounded like maybe they had done some of these prayers in Sunday School because of the specific words she used, but it was so great to hear! Especially after a bit of a difficult day in which she was very emotional and had a bit of a behavior episode that was very frustrating. I thought we handled it better than we have in the past, and I made sure to try and connect with her afterwards and I think it was really what she needed. Parenting is such a journey of ups and downs, and the rewards come when you least expect it sometimes!

Brian and I had a date night in Seattle yesterday evening and it was a lot of fun! We walked around, browsed some stores and had some delicious seafood at Etta's. The kids did amazing! When we were leaving, Adam came over to us with a distressed look on his face and gave each of us a hug and a kiss. We said good bye and walked downstairs and we heard him go back to the table. It is the first time he has been able to say good bye to us, knowing that we were leaving him with a baby sitter, and go on with his day. He was definitely not thrilled about it, but his coping skills when it comes to sitters have steadily improved over the last while, and he really nailed it yesterday! I was so proud of him for being able to contain the panic and anxiety I know he feels when we leave him! It's like he is finally able to understand that yes, Mom and Dad are leaving, but they are coming back so everything will be okay. Yet another sign to us that his understanding of what is going on continues to expand!

Celebrating a special Princess:)

We have had a busy few weeks! Lynsey's birthday weekend and just this past weekend, Brian's parents came to visit. Lynsey's birthday was a lot of fun! Her friend Ariaunna came to a movie with us (Lynsey's first time in the theater - "It's nothing like I was expecting!") and then we headed over to Red Robin for dinner. Unfortunately the wait was really long there, so we headed home and had some pizza that Brian had ordered for him and the boys. A bit disappointing, but the girls got over it really quickly. We had some cupcakes and then they had their sleepover! They didn't go to sleep until after 11!! Thank goodness time change was that night, the morning was much easier to handle with that extra hour! A lot of fun all around. Lynsey got to have her Red Robin dinner with us on Sunday, her actual birthday, so that was some consolation for the night before:). She got to be the birthday girl at school the next day, too, since I sent some mini cupcakes for her to share with her class - she really milked this whole birthday thing! I'm glad she enjoyed her day and felt really special, that's what we wanted for her!

Brian's parents were here this past weekend and we had a lot of fun with them! We went to the Aquarium on Saturday, and to be honest, my expectations for this place were not too high. I had heard it was small and didn't have much, but Lynsey had been dying to go since we moved so we wanted to give it a try. It was a lot of fun! All the kids enjoyed it! It was great to see Adam be so interested in some of the animals, and not just the waterfalls! We ended up getting an annual pass since it cost the same as one days admission for all of us, and now I'm really glad we did:). We will be back! We went to the Crab Pot for lunch and then Frances and I went shopping for the afternoon. I ended up splurging on a pair of boots that I didn't desperately need, but they are awesome so it was a good thing haha! Sunday we went to the zoo in the morning and relaxed in the afternoon. It was really nice to see them and the kids really enjoyed having them here as well. We are thinking about flying out to Alberta in February because I think I'm a bit more homesick than I originally thought, so we will see if we can make it work:).

Adam's bad sleeping has hit a bit of a peak in the last week. It just kept getting worse until last week we decided we needed to do a bit of a boot camp with him. We had to come to the realization that letting him have what he was demanding in those rants he gets into was not helping him, but merely making him demand more the next time. I always knew that on some level, but there is always the hope that "it's just a phase" and meeting this need for a short time will make the need go away. I think that is probably true in some cases, but in Adam's case, the more he got, the more he demanded. So I stopped singing, sitting with him, letting him into our bed, and it has been rough. Brian has been doing more of the bedtime and nighttime stuff with him which has been helping a lot, but last night, he went to a movie so I did bedtime alone. He wanted me to stay with him to fall asleep. What an internal battle for me - I knew at 8:30pm that if I just sat there for 10 minutes, he would fall asleep and the rest of the evening would be mine. But, I also knew that would only reinforce his idea that he can command me to do his bidding, and it would never stop there. Sooo I didn't give in, and he screamed until Brian got home just after 10pm:(. I went in to him once in a while to try and calm him down because he was in such a frenzy, but I never know if that helps or makes things worse! How long would he have kept it up? He was still going strong when Brian got home, but he just put him in his bed, tidied up the room a bit and when he left, he was almost asleep. He woke up again at 11 and Brian helped him a bit but he did fall asleep without him in the room, so fingers crossed that tomorrow will be better.

With all these sleep issues going on, we have also noticed that he seems to be more aware of things and communicating a bit more! The other day, he was talking about something "outside" and I assumed he was telling me he wanted to go outside. But he was pointing out the window at the maintenance guy and looking at me - it was like he was telling me about the maintenance guy outside! It was a bit surreal, as I'm not sure he has really done that before. Brian's parents also said that they thought his eye contact and general awareness was greatly improved from the last time they saw him which was good to hear. Also, the Aquarium trip and the zoo trip both showed us that he is becoming more interested in what is going on - Brian took him out of the lion viewing area apparently before he had a chance to see them, so he told Brian he wanted to go back and see the lions! What?? So he took him back, he looked at the lions for a bit, and then he was ready to go. There was a time not too long ago that he never would have cared enough to ask to go back and see the lions. I have been praying for him to turn a corner, and I continue to pray that maybe this is it!

Some sleep issues, Lynsey's big day just around the corner:)

Adam's sleeping has not been fantastic as of late. It's actually been a bit of an issue for probably close to a month, I just didn't write about it last blog post - probably too tired! Most nights it's not too bad, he just comes to our room several times during the night and we just walk him back to his bed, usually take him to the bathroom one of the times he comes. And then some nights, it's bad. Usually this just means he refuses to go back to his bed and has to come sleep in our bed, but the other night, he didn't want to go back to sleep and had a major meltdown. It was about 6am so terrible timing, woke Nathan up and then Nathan was awake thinking it was morning! Putting him to bed has been getting increasingly difficult as well - he wants me to stay in the room. We don't oblige this because I fear where that could take us, but it is so difficult some days! Oh how I wish he could be reasoned with! I am hopeful this is just another season that will pass as other seasons have passed before, but I guess only time will tell what direction this goes. I suspect this is him trying to take back some control of his life, since he is probably still processing the change to this city and this preschool with longer days away from me, but I don't know for sure. We are trying to be patient with him, but when it's 10pm and he's still not asleep, it gets tough!

Adam had the first haircut of his life where he didn't scream at all this past Saturday! I thought it was going to be so rough because he started resisting as soon as we got there, and then his hairdresser was a bit behind so we had to wait there about 10 minutes . . . I was really bracing for the worst. BUT once he was in his chair (seat belted in) he was totally fine! I wasn't thrilled with the cut he got, she went a bit shorter on the top then I would have liked, but the important thing to note here is that he LET her cut his hair! With clippers and everything! He just continues to surprise me in the areas where he has grown:).

Nathan has started loving trucks and trains more than ever. He now carries them around with him everywhere. He had some for my outing to the zoo with my friend Larissa who came to visit last Friday (so great to see her!) and he did so well! Best outing with him probably ever! I am now taking trains with us where ever we go! He also has taken a liking to Adam's bus, which happens to be like the only toy that Adam really likes, so this has become a bit of an issue. The amount of screaming that ensues over that bus . . . I am not far off getting on Amazon and ordering another one just like it. Can you put a price on your sanity? I'm not sure you can! I love that Nathan has such a clear interest, I already know that I will have no trouble with Christmas shopping for him. Adam, on the other hand, totally stumped yet again this year. Another bag of the twist ties that he likes to shake perhaps?? Sigh - we'll have to think outside the box for our special boy!

Lynsey's birthday is coming up! We have talked her into only inviting her friend Ari and they are going to have a sleepover, her very first one! At first she wanted to have a big party with lots of kids, but we just can't figure out how to make that work since we don't really know many people and she doesn't have a core group of friends yet. I was not about to invite the entire first grade, so we approached the idea of just inviting Ari. That wasn't good enough at first ("that's just a playdate", she said) but when we upped the ante to sleepover status, it met the grade:). Whew! I'm going to take them to a movie then out to dinner and then back here for some cake and presents. Then we shall see how the sleepover goes! Ari's parents live just down the block so if things don't work out, it won't be a big deal to call it off. I hope it all goes well! Our special six year old deserves a special day:).

It is my understanding that Calgary had its first snowfall this past weekend, and that it going to be -12 degrees Celsius tonight. I will just say for the record that I am not even a little bit nostalgic for a "good ole Canadian winter"! I could not have been happier to see those snowy pictures on Facebook, and then look outside at the beautiful trees with bright red leaves, and the bare ground with nothing but fallen leaves on it. Yes, I think I will get used to this climate just fine!

Two month reflection

We have officially been here for 2 months (well, tomorrow it will be 2 months). It's hard to describe what it feels like to be at this stage, after most of the details of moving have been sorted out, the kids have been in school for over 6 weeks, we've been attending a church for almost a month . . . I'm not sure that, even with all those things in place, it has completely sunk in that this is our home now. I am trying to process how I feel about everything, and my best analysis is that we are on the right track to settling in, but not there yet. I feel like each of us has a good start to making this our home. Brian feels like he is starting to contribute at work which is making him happier at his job (never fun to start a new job!), Lynsey is settling in to Grade 1 and already has a "best friend" (and it would seem the feeling is mutual according to some of the artwork we are seeing, so that's always nice:)), Adam loves preschool and his weekly progress reports continue to show improvement in some areas, and I have been attending a MOPS group at church (Mother with preschoolers group) that has helped me meet people and feel like real friendships are forming.

Of course, it's not like there aren't some struggles mixed in with the positive things. Most of the details have been sorted out, but we still have some tax things to sort out etc. - I had to go into downtown Seattle this morning to go to the Canadian Consulate to get certified copies of mine and the kids' passports (this is so we can get tax payer identification numbers so Brian can claim us as dependents on his tax return in the Spring). The hoops you have to jump through! It was an interesting adventure, once again really thankful for the GPS, although I wish I could ask the GPS to lead me to the closest, cheapest parking garage as well. Everything is a learning experience! I am also finding that building new friendships is a long game and that it doesn't happen overnight, no matter how friendly and welcoming people are. It's a process that has awkward moments tied in, but I'm getting through it. The key I think is to just keep making an effort and be vulnerable, even when you're unsure of yourself. Sometimes when I have these moments of self doubt where I start thinking, "These people already have friends and lives - why do they need us!", I try and turn that thinking around and give myself the pep talk of, "Of course they want to know us! We are fun and genuine and will add something good to their lives! Who doesn't have room for that:)". I can tell you that with the busyness of our lives, it would be very easy to be here for months even years and never get beyond surface friendships with people. I am determined not to let that happen!

We had our first parent/teacher conference with Lynsey's teacher on Tuesday. I was really nervous about it, and deep down I had this fear that she would tell us that Lynsey should go back into Kindergarten. Last week, we got a letter that Lynsey is being put into a special reading group, and I just had this feeling that the teacher was going to come down on us for putting her in Grade 1 when we should have followed the state guidelines and put her in Kindergarten. The conference was nothing like that! She focused on some goals that Lynsey can work towards over the coming months and explained some of the things they are learning and how we can help Lynsey at home. We met with her reading group teacher, who gave us a great overview of the purpose of the group, and that it is merely a different environment for Lynsey to get more practice in some of the areas she is struggling with. I really liked both the teachers, and feel like Lynsey is in a great school where they are giving her every opportunity to learn in the right environment for her. We started having her read to us every night, which we hadn't been doing before, and we have already seen a huge improvement even just in the last week! She is also showing more interest in writing stories and it is just remarkable to me how just a little bit of extra practice at home has increased her confidence and writing skills. It's a bit scary to me what a big responsibility we have to her as her parents! Scary, but pretty awesome as well:).

Potty training update for Adam - he seems to have turned a corner in the #2 department! He's gone from being about 50/50 (and that was mostly because we were catching him in the act and rushing him to the toilet to finish) to being more like 80/20! He now often goes while he's peeing - he seems to finally understand that he's supposed to poop in the toilet! Hurray! I think we'll be at 100% soon, he just needs to learn to pull down his own pants. Most of his accidents are now happening in the bathroom because he is trying to get there, but doesn't have the communication to alert us to come help him. So close! I never thought I would see this day . . . and here I am, I've rinsed like one pair of shorts in the last 10 days:). Another encouraging Adam report is that he has gone to Sunday School three Sundays in a row, and he now just walks in without a backward glance. They haven't had to call us once! The first week he had apparently bit a volunteer that was trying to calm him down at the end (very out of character for him!) and they said they would call us if anything like that happened again. Thank goodness it has not happened again! Apparently he has accepted Sunday School as a part of life! Hurray! Now to have him join in with the other kids . . . one step at a time:).

When I said that they didn't have to call us for Adam, you might think that we've actually been sitting through church the last few weeks. Not the case. Our little Nathan has been quite a sad boy in the nursery! We get called several times a service, but I'm not giving up - we keep trying to leave him, and I'm hoping that eventually her will figure out that it's only temporary that that he'll be okay. It's been a while since we've dealt with "typical" separation anxiety so I don't even know how long it will last, but I'm hoping it won't be long!