If I had known then what I know now . . .

Back on March 7th, 2010, we decided that Lynsey was ready for potty training. She asked for panties, and us being rookie parents thought that this was a sure sign that she wanted to do it. And she did. For about a week or two. I looked back on my blog post from March 14th and I sounded so optimistic, saying things like, "Praise God, she got it this time!", and "I just got lucky with a little girl who was finally ready to just do it". If I had only known then what I know now . . .

The last four and a half months have been such a journey. Other than those first few weeks when she gave us so much hope, she never really made any progress. We had to pretty much force her to go pee every few hours, and while for a few months she rarely had accidents, she never went on her own free will. Some people might call this trained, but I knew better - I felt like it was a house of cards, ready to come crashing down at the moment she decided she wasn't going to do it anymore. A few separate times, we got fed up with her lack of interest and put her back in Pullups, but the truth was I was never able to fully accept that she wasn't ready yet and would put her back in panties before long. She continued to poop on the potty on her own free will, so that gave me the hope that she would eventually decide to pee as well, all the while REALLY hoping that day would be just around the corner. Unfortunately, it wasn't.

In mid-June, I decided that I was done with the battle. It had been over 3 months and we were still forcing her to go. I would get so incredibly angry with her when she peed on the floor that there were times when I nearly lost it. I had to leave the room and sometimes literally screamed at the top of my lungs I was so angry. "Why doesn't she JUST GET IT!!!!" I would say to myself over and over again. I didn't understand - she's smart, she communicates fantastically well . . . I just didn't know why she couldn't get this. So, back in mid-June, we decided for the final time that we had to put her back in diapers. While Brian was able to handle the accidents with dignity and self-control, I just got so angry at my daughter that I knew something had to change. Her childhood is so short, and I couldn't spend so much of it getting mad about something so stupid that wasn't her fault! I finally had to just let it go, and let her pee in her diaper. In the past when we put her back in Pullups, I always secretly hoped she would still pee on the potty, but this time, I truly gave up on it. I felt a MILLION times better - it was definitely the right move for us.

As I suspected, she had no problem going back to diapers and was rarely requesting to pee on the potty. However, the relief I felt was short lived when a few weeks in, after pooping on the potty with rarely an accident for three months, she started pooping in her diaper. We were disappointed about this, but what could we do? We decided it was time to take an entirely different approach to this whole potty training thing, and on July 5th, we made a fresh start. I sat Lynsey down and asked her why she didn't want to poop and pee on the potty anymore. She said something about it not being safe, so I asked her if we should take the little potties out again. She agreed that yes, we should. So I did. We also decided that any and all accidents would be cleaned up without my usual tirades of, "Why aren't you peeing on the potty??" and "You should be a big girl and pee on the potty!" etc. We agreed that it was time to listen to the experts and totally de-emphasize this whole thing. I had known for a long time that this was what experts recommended, but I guess on some level I kept thinking that if she just knew how upset it made me that she wasn't getting it, she would try harder. If she just knew that she wasn't being a "big girl", that it would eventually bother her enough to make her do it. Our discipline book tells us a hundred times, "Don't think that making your child feel bad will make them behave better - it doesn't". And yet I continued to try guilt trips and shame. But on July 5th, I committed to Brian that I would do it his way, what turned out to be the right way.

The very first day was a big success, but as I suspected, she lost steam after the first day. The novelty of having the little potties back wore off in a hurry and she was back to peeing on the floor. I knew the first few days were critical and I did my best to not react to her accidents. It actually wasn't as hard as I thought - when I know there's a plan, I seem to be able to stick to it. After a few days with a lot of accidents, she had an accident-free day and I made up "The Potty March". Basically we marched around the house and I made up words to the tune of "Jesus Loves the Little Children", words like, "Lynsey is pooping and peeing on the potty, like a big girl does" etc. I also brought out the stickers again, and this time, she seemed to be interested in doing them. You have to remember that we had already tried rewards and stickers in the past, and it was never enough. But, this time, it seemed like she was into it. Slowly but surely, she started telling me when she needed to pee (something that she never did before!) and although sometimes she had started peeing in her panties, she would finish on the potty. I considered even those times an absolute success. I was cautiously optimistic for some time, but it was last week at Brian's softball game that I knew we had truly turned a corner. She told me she had to pee - and made it to the toilet inside the nearby rec centre! Never in a million years would I have thought she would do this - she had never before told me that she needed to go when she didn't know where the potty was. She would always just pee in her panties.

And so, on this day, July 26th, 2010, at the age of 2 and almost 9 months, I am officially declaring Lynsey Raeanne Kroeker potty trained. While I know she will still have some accidents (in fact, she had one today) I feel that over time they will just become fewer and further between. She finally goes by herself now, and seems to take some pride in her independence. She truly wants to be a big girl, and that's something I could not guilt or shame her into.

I made a lot of mistakes during this process (I say 'I' because while Brian and I were doing this together and both made mistakes, had I followed more of his methods I think this would have been a lot smoother), but I know I've learned from it. I wanted to be one of the lucky ones, one of those people that talk about their two year old (or even 18 month old in some cases) picking up potty training with no problems. I learned that while the rewards of trying so young and succeeding are great, the pain of failure is just not worth it.

Adam, unless you appear to be some potty prodigy, you will be three before I even think about putting you in underwear:).

My Mama's Boy

I feel like Adam has grown up a lot over the last few weeks. He gets louder every day, stepping up the babbling all the time. He is learning to guide things to and from himself as he wishes with a lot more accuracy (this is particularly handy when it comes to his soother! He's even put it in himself at night a few times!) and sits really well. His bottom two teeth have made some progress, but they are still not completely through. I think he is also starting to act shy around people he doesn't know very well - my sister was holding him yesterday, and he started crying and looking at me! He stopped crying when I took him, and then started again when she took him back. I think he might be a bit of a Mama's boy!

He loves going for walks and I'm really happy I got the double wide stroller - he loves seeing everything as we're walking:). We went to Brian's softball game on Tuesday and I thought he might fall asleep in the stroller around his bedtime. Not going to happen - he just wanted to see what was happening! He isn't waking up at 6am anymore which is a big relief. He actually slept until 8 this morning! He woke up a few times in the early morning, but went back to sleep right away - I have hope that we're on the path to 12 hour nights! He only had two naps today, so we'll see if that helps him sleep longer in the morning.

Lynsey seems to be coming out of her little behavioural rough patch that she was in. She still has her moments, but I feel like she is getting back on track. I'm going to do a post on her potty training again soon, because she seems to be getting it (again!), but we've been there before so I'm waiting to see if this is the real thing first. She is finally embracing the "big girl" thing! She said something the other day that I thought was kind of interesting - I told her to get dressed, and she ignored me the first few times I said it. I waited a few minutes and asked her again (she was out of my line of sight so I couldn't see what she was doing) and she says, "Yes, I'm doing it, Mommy" in a voice that almost sounded exasperated or annoyed or something! It was very interesting - gave me a little glimpse into what I have ahead of me:).

Catching up on Miss Lynsey

I know it hasn't been very long since my last post, but we've taken so many pictures the last few days, I felt like in order to not get overwhelmed I needed to get caught up. I feel like I haven't been talking about where Lynsey is at very much lately. This will be a catch-up-on-Lynsey post.

She is saying a lot of interesting things now. Of course, I can't remember them all now that I'm actually writing them down (I knew I should keep track of them as she was saying them!), but here are a few of the sorts of things she says now:

"I peed in my pants. That's hilarious." (She has definitely never heard me say that!)
"Mommy, can I drive?"
(Upon seeing her new doctor's kit) "Oh, I can't believe it!"
"No, let Daddy deal with me."
"Yep, I'm on it."

There are most things that I wanted to remember, but I just can't right now. I have to mention what she did the other day during her quiet time. She was wearing panties and when I walked into her room, something really smelled bad. I was immediately suspicious, so I checked the potty in her room - empty. She was still wearing her panties and they were clean. I asked her if she had pooped and she affirmed that yes, she had. I asked her where and she said, "In my toybox". I had a sinking feeling as I checked her toybox - there was a diaper in there, perfectly sealed up with the velcro straps. I opened it up and it was full of poop. She had taken off her panties, put on her diaper, pooped, and taken that diaper off. She sealed it up like she has seen me do, put it in her toybox, and put her panties back on. Can that even be remotely considered "an accident"??

Because of her not napping anymore, she has on a few occasions fallen asleep in weird places. She fell asleep in her plush chair in front of the TV the other day. One night when we went to check on her before going to bed, she had fallen asleep sitting in her toybox. Her bears were sleeping in her bed, so what choice did she have??:)

She often is brave in wanting to try new things, but when it comes to actually doing them, she can be quite timid. For example, we've been to a few pancake breakfasts where they had pony rides, bouncy castles, fire trucks, etc. We waited in line for quite a while for a pony ride on Sunday, all the while super excited about the horses, until we got to the front of the line. As soon as the guy tried putting the helmet on her, it was all over. She did not jump at all in the bouncy castle, although with some coaxing she did climb up the wall. She claimed to want to sit in the front of the fire truck, but as soon as I put on her on the seat, she just looked down and wouldn't put her hands on the steering wheel or anything. It's interesting because in some situations, she is such a leader! The other day we were at a park with my Mom's group, and she was swinging on the swing singing "Jesus Loves Me" at the top of her lungs, urging everyone to join her: "Come on everybody - let's sing!". She is most definitely her own person, and is taking some leadership in the whole potty training debacle (it's a good thing, too - someone other than me needs to be in charge of this). I will do a post in a while talking more about the specifics, but I will say that the times where we've had potty success, it was because she was leading the way, going by herself. I am finding this paradox in her personality interesting - at times hesitant, but a strong leader at times as well. She is special alright!

I shouldn't have bragged about Adam's sleeping being basically under control - he has been getting up at 6am the last few days! And he's awake for the day at that time! I am not giving up on trying to get him to sleep until 7am - I do not need an early riser in my household. He's been doing pretty well during the night and still goes to bed early, but I am determined to "make" him sleep 11 - 12 hours per night. All you people out there with early risers go ahead and laugh at me now - I am not giving up!

It was my 31st birthday yesterday. We went out for dinner and did some shopping after - it was a nice break. As usual I didn't make a big deal about my birthday, but it was nice to get a little extra attention:).

Lazy Days of Summer, Six Month Milestone

We have been enjoying the nice weather and some time off for Brian! We have been doing some swimming, hanging out in our pool in our backyard, going to the park, and even made an impromptu trip to the zoo this morning. We had a family wedding on Saturday where Lynsey was a flower girl - so cute! She did amazing! I could not have predicted how well she would do - she's my star:).

Well, we made it to the six month milestone for Adam! Last Wednesday was Adam's six month birthday, and I thought I should do a summary of where he was at:

Sleep: He goes to bed around 7:30 - 8pm and usually sleeps until close to 7 (this morning was 7:20, so I'm hopeful!). He still wakes up during the night for his soother, sometimes up to 4 or 5 times on bad nights, but he goes right back to sleep - no more staying up with him for hours! I no longer take him into bed with me around 5 or 6, so it would seem he is FINALLY full enough to sleep through the night! Naps are pretty good - when we're home in the morning, he often sleeps one and a half hours in the morning, but when we're out and about, he just catnaps. His afternoon nap is pretty good - often 2+ hours with maybe one or two interruptions for his soother. He still has a catnap around 5pm to get him through until bedtime - not sure when we'll be able to drop that.

Eating - He has 4 bottles - 7:30, 11:30, 3:30, and 7:30. He has some cereal and fruit in the morning, some baby food at lunch, and some cereal and baby food at suppertime. He has pretty much had it all at this point - veggies, meat, fruit, etc. I just introduced him to avocado which he doesn't like plain, but if you give it to him with some fruit he likes it:). He continues to have a big appetite!

Height and Weight - He had his six month shots on Tuesday, and he was a whopping 22 lb 12 oz, 27.5 inches. Big boy!

Teething - Yes, he has started. A few weeks ago, his bottom two teeth started coming but they still haven't completely broken through. He's not in too much pain most of the time, but he does suck and chew on EVERYTHING!

Play - Anything and everything goes into his mouth, as mentioned above. He still loves his jolly jumper and exersaucer, and has some toys that are fast becoming his favorites (Sophie the giraffe is quite a hit!). He still doesn't roll from back to tummy, but has almost mastered sitting, which I find much more valuable anyway! He still needs us to watch him, but he can sit for quite a while actually, often straightening himself. He is strong, and can stand holding onto tables etc. He still needs supervision of course, as he is pretty unsteady, but we are predicting that he will not be a late walker . . . we'll have to see! He started saying his "ba ba"'s last week - so cute! He loves watching his big sister entertain him, and she gets a lot of smiles and even giggles out of him:).

So that's where we are at at six months! So far, he is pretty adaptable and easy-going, so we are hoping that continues to be the case:).

Lynsey is continuing to give us some challenges, but I continue to be amazed by her. She seems to be able to turn on this super sweet girl at any given moment, making me wonder how on earth I could ever be at all frustrated with her! She is tired a lot of the time because of not having a nap every day anymore, so she's just in a bit of a transition right now.