So we survived the weekend in Spokane! Sometimes you come back from somewhere you were dreading going, and it turns out you were worried for nothing. This was absolutely not the case for us. I was nervous about going, and it was about as bad as I thought it would be. We got there Thursday evening, good drive with no issues. I definitely prefer the drive to eastern Washington to driving south through Tacoma, Olympia and Portland. So much prettier, higher speed limit, less traffic, all good things (as long as there are no issues through Snoqualmie Pass which there were not thankfully). Friday morning, we got to the gym nice and early (earlier than I would have but I don't make the decisions) and we played two games that day, both were three sets to 25 because we were in a three team pool. It was a blood bath. That first team we played, in our first set, the only points we got were when they missed a serve (which happened 4 times so we lost 25-4). We did get a few of our own points in the second and third sets, but it was just ugly. Hard to really know how to encourage the team when you get blown out like that, they were just out of our league. The second game was a bit better, I think we got into the double digits points wise in all three sets which was good. Tough day for sure. That evening we had a team dinner at the hotel and turned in pretty early.
Saturday we had a bit of a better day volleyball-wise, played some teams that were better than us, but not so outrageously better that we could not make any of our own points. Still lost all three games we played 2-0. That evening there was axe throwing planned for the girls so I went to that. On Sunday, we weren't scheduled to play until 1pm so we had some time in the morning to have breakfast and get checked out. We played two games and once again, did not win a single set. Definitely had a chance at both of those teams, though. For some reason, we just couldn't finish but we got very close. At least it was nice for the girls to make a game of it.
I am still so frustrated that we were playing in this division. There is a whole other division below Liberty where we played (and unfortunately will play again in Reno next weekend, ugh). There is absolutely no question that the lowest division (American) is where we belong. We were dead last in Liberty and did not win a single set. I'm trying to stay positive but I am really struggling this year. Coaching has been so hard, and for completely different reasons than last year. Last year wasn't perfect by any means, but I felt some ownership of the team and that they had some respect for me as a coach. Not so this year. The head coach holds onto the team pretty tightly and it's been extremely challenging. I knew it would be tough to break in because she has been alone for so long without an assistant, but I don't think I could have guessed it would be this bad. I know I am still learning and have made a ton of mistakes, but it's her lack of self awareness for how she might be contributing to some of the issues that is making this even harder to navigate. It's not a two way street whatsoever. And she is very controlling on travel tournaments. Lynsey had a ton of homework because she missed a day of school for this tournament, but she was not allowed to stay back at the hotel Friday afternoon and do homework because the rest of the team wanted to go to the mall. They had already done swimming together as a team and were going to be eating together as a team for dinner, but this mall trip could not be missed. Not even for homework that she had due to a day of school missed for this tournament. I cannot tell you how much I had to bite my tongue on that one (and I still said a lot, but I kept it much more civil than I wanted to, believe me!). It is her way or the highway, get on board, team and parents. And any input from me that tries to solve a problem or make something more efficient is not welcome. I called the hotel the week before we went to see if they could open breakfast a bit early because we wanted to be in cars on the way to the venue by 6:30 when the breakfast opened. They were accommodating and agreed to open at 6:15 which I thought was pretty nice of them. I told her that they would do this, but apparently because she was not in control of this operation she didn't trust it and had the parent chaperone go out and buy bagels, cream cheese and fruit just in case they weren't open. Surprise surprise, the morning rolls around and they were open just as they said they would be, so the parent spent the money for nothing (unless she put the cost into the group dinner which she might have done, but in any case the coach wasn't the one footing the bill for her own paranoia). I know I am not handling all these things that come up perfectly, but it's never a conversation when something comes up - it's just her putting me in my place.
Anyway, I don't need to vent about this any more but it has been very difficult to say the least. One more travel tournament, I can make it! I am going to do my level best to just keep my mouth shut and go with the flow. I will do only what I am asked to do and take no initiative whatsoever. I know that sounds insane and like it's a betrayal to myself which it 100% is, but we are now 4 months in and I have finally caught the hint that this is what my role is on this team. I will learn as much as I can about coaching and things I do and do not want to do when I get my own team, and continue to be there for Lynsey. It makes me sad that it's come to this because I was excited about this year, but that's life sometimes.
Before the dreaded trip to Reno, we get a family trip to Calgary this weekend! We are flying out tomorrow afternoon and staying until Wednesday. I'm looking forward to being back in Alberta and seeing some family and friends!
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